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NORTH ATTLEBORO — Kevin Murray wants to be your dating coach.While the online-dating market is flooded with apps like Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, and more, each promising their own angle at a chance at love, Murray, an experienced online dater himself, says no app has mastered a key tool needed for daters in today’s day and age: A step-by-step guide on how exactly those daters should date. “Most people have no idea what they’re doing online,” Murray said.As your Dating Coach, I can help you change this for good. Every bone in your body will be screaming YES, YES, YES!In your search for love, you’re probably looking for that ‘in-love’ feeling. Anthropologist, Dr Helen Fisher has spent a great deal of her professional career studying the brain in love.That amazing energy right in the beginning of a relationship that makes you weak at the knees and defies all logic thinking. Through the use of brain scans she has identified that a surge of hormones are to blame for this feelings of euphoria associated with passionate love.When you find it being together will just feel right. She also identified that being passionately in love triggers the same centres of the brain as do physical addictions: “Of the many indications that romantic love is an addiction, however, perhaps none is more convincing than the growing data from neuroscience.What you perceive to be passion or chemistry is really your subconscious mind playing tricks on you.
Something about this person triggers a familiar feeling. Fast forward to a couple of years later when all these hormone levels are back to normal and you are going to need much more for the relationship to work.Murray tells users to avoid generic intros like “Hey,” “How are you? ”“Those questions lead you to nowhere land,” he said.Instead, Hootie can look at hobbies or interests both users have in common and suggest opening lines that will spark something more meaningful.There, Murray said he got an extensive first-hand look at the lives of every kind of dater, from 30-year-old women to 60-year-old men, providing profile assistance, ghostwriting and connection services to some of the wealthiest online daters out there. But through both experiences, Murray found a common problem: Daters in general struggle to find a happy medium between their ideal self and their actual self.“Dating is all about trying to sell yourself, but you actually have two first impressions when it comes to online dating: The one you have online and the one you have in person,” Murray said.
“If you’re not accurate online, when you meet, that’s what people don’t like.”The problem is, most daters aren’t even aware of these problems — or are unsure where to start in fixing them. Icebrkr provides suggestions to curb common online dating mistakes and help users build a successful profile. Group photos and a lack of conversation starters to get things going.If a user tries to upload a group picture, Hootie might even be able to stray them away from the common dating mistake with a gentle reminder: “Group pictures can cause confusion and draw attention away from you,” Murray says.“People can ignore these tips, but if it’s right there in your face — if you know better — it might make you do better.”But the help doesn’t stop there.